A couple of weeks ago I started to feel good again. I am sick of the fatigue. And my mouth is full of ulcers. So eating isn’t even pleasurable.

Was looking at gyms again. Don’t know why I do it to myself. No amount of oxycodone is helping and on crutches. Yet am looking at gyms!!! Am I ever going to accept the ways things are 😦

Had a really tired day. Fell asleep at 6.30. Dreading going back to work on Friday. Or maybe it will do me some good. Maybe it keeps me going despite how tired it makes me. I think my body might have got used to nights and no sleep by now.

Although I am writing this at 21.49. Late for me ha. I am in my favourite place though, bed! Oh in fact I slept this morning as well. Ok my aim tomorrow is no naps.

Had a lovely afternoon though with a friend. Her son is a bit older than Finley and was wonderful watching Finley having fun and playing with him without jess there. Like a ‘normal’ child. I hate to use that term but it’s the best way to describe it. Last weekend at my other friends he was very much ‘autistic’. He wouldn’t tolerate anything not his way. Even at the railway museum this weekend there was a part you walked past with lockers. We went past it 4 times and it was driving him insane that all these lockers weren’t closed. Everytime we went past he tried to close some. Sometimes it’s easier to let him get something he wants to do out of his system. Otherwise you need to prepare for a meltdown. Things are a lot easier since the shoulder surgery a few months back. I couldn’t pick him up before that surgery and we ended up trapped in the house as I couldn’t pick him up during meltdowns. Thankfully my best friend on the school run helped me out hugely. If I needed something from the shops she would come and he being a teaching assistant for children with autism also came in handy. She has wrestled Finley during meltdowns without flinching which has been a huge help.

Actually that is one great thing to come out of the last three years. Fantastic friends. I hate asking for help and rarely do but it is nice knowing I can.

23.30 update……wide awake. Typical.