Had a quiet few days while have been trying to sort things a little further.

Had a terrible shift on Tuesday. Nothing to do with work, I love my job which made it worse. I was just in agony. My back was terrible with shooting pains down my legs and arms. Something that would normally take me 20 mins took over an hour so was just really down. Then I was overdosing on my very strong painkillers as I was taking them during the day then needed them again over night.

So yet another phone call to gp. The suspicion is inflammation in brain and spine is causing the pain, dizzyness and headaches. But thank god, no new tablets. Actually less. He has just changed me to slow release tablets so only take them morning and night. Has seemed strange today. Especially as I went out. I would normally be focusing on taking tablets with me. Was strange to go out without them. Was also strange to go so long without pain. Although due them in 3 hours and had to take some normal ones. I think going 9 hours without any real pain though is a record.

Chemo day was actually good until about 7 at night. Then I got hit with it. Sickness, fainting etc.

It was just the end to a week of worrying about this illness and about my future. I am worried I can’t carry on at work for much longer and then feel like the health is one thing after another. Then the ‘friend’ who told me that depression is much worse than what I am going through then had a go at me for quitting the gym.  Is she having a laugh. Walking hurts……yet me quitting the gym let ‘her’ down. Needless to say we are no longer friends.

On the plus side lost 7lbs. Imagine some swelling has gone down which  gave it a boost.

So need things to pick up please.

Had good times with friends though this week which has really helped.