Didn’t really mean to not write, the last week has been mentally busy. But instantly after my last post about being positive I had a huge meltdown at work and handed my notice in. Luckily it wasn’t accepted as I regretted it pretty quickly. It was all because I hadn’t done some paperwork I should have done because my shift ended and I needed to take the kids. I over reacted but I think it was a culmination of being worried about my job with this stupid illness.

Currently have swelling on both ankles, both achilles tendons, one wrist, my jaw, and one knee and despite being on hard core pain killers I am struggling. On top of that I now have inflammation on my skin. My left hip to be precise. I have two holes in my hip. Yep actual holes. Gp has got me an emergency hospital appointment on Friday with my consultant.

My dizziness and headaches have improved so hoping the inflammation in my brain is reducing.

I know I promised to be more positive but have made a decision to start my application for disability payments. Both my consultant and gp are encouraging it as the chances are eventually I won’t be able to work.

I am still doing my degree starting in October and am really excited to do it. I would love to become a tutor or a trainer in care eventually. Hopefully I would be able to manage that around my illness.

Another idea that has been in my head for years is a slimming world leader. I have hopefully sorted my slimming world out. I just can’t go on Thursday nights. I have moved to one on a Tuesday morning. It means I have to take Finley but also means I can go with a friend. We went on Tuesday but couldn’t stay for the full meeting. I had been working the night before and wasn’t organised with something to amuse Finley. But I aren’t working on Monday night this week so am looking forward to it. The added bonus is that it’s the meeting where my old leader is a member so happy I still get to see her there.

I have had to delay my swimming as well until my hip is sorted. I want to try my trampoline but so worried about my ankles.

Jess had show week last week. She was a lost boy in Peter pan. I was so proud. She did so well. Made me miss dancing and performing so much though. Also have an obsession with dance moms at the minute. Have it on series link on the virgin box in our bedroom and honestly am addicted ha. By far my favourite thing in the world at the minute is laid in bed watching TV. I worked Monday night and was exhausted. Even fell asleep during dance moms ha.

So that’s me caught up. Grumpy chemo day tomorrow then consultant on Friday so hopefully will feel a little better then.