Firstly have pretty much constantly cried for a few days. I went back to slimming world yesterday and joined again to start afresh. I was completing the application form and the dreaded question… you consider yourself disabled…..I answered yes. I need to face facts.

So already feeling a bit down I listened during the meeting and felt motivated and ready to go again.

As I was technically new I didn’t get weighed until after the meeting with the other newbies. I didn’t get weighed until last and thank God everyone had gone. I got on the scales and saw my weight and instantly the tears started. Luckily I know my leader. She is a true inspiration having lost over 8 stone and I instantly got a much needed hug.

I was also reeling from my husbands wage this month being £400 short due to bonuses.

Then this morning I had my appeal medical for my blue badge. In about 2 mins I won. Amazing doctor. Again I cried. He asked how my illness had affected me and I answered ‘i have lost who I am’ and just burst out in tears. He then answered I know enough. I had access to your medical records and you are incredibly poorly and there is no doubt you are eligible. Also said he would comment that the council wasted everyone’s time turning me down and it going to appeal. So I am relieved . It will make life so much easier.

Then got home and received a phone call from the doctors for me to go in on Tuesday and stop all disease modifying drugs immediately (the chemo drugs) as I am in early stage liver failure. Could have been caused by the drugs or the disease but either way fighting this disease just got harder.

So I am frankly glad for today to end but the pic below shows some symptoms of liver failure and it shows why I might be so down…..