I am normally really strong but I don’t feel it recently. I just feel so ill and am so disabled. I have struggled to walk just 2 metres today. But I need to sort myself out. I have always had issues with food and time to admit my binge eating has got out of control. I am piling weight on. I need to gain control back. I haven’t been to slimming world for two weeks while it has been at its worst. But am going back tomorrow night to face the music. It’s so hard feeling so ill and being in so much pain that the only thing I can do and brings me some pleasure is food. But tomorrow I am gaining control again. I am so ashamed of what I have been doing. I think I just needed to admit it so I can try and move forward and find a better way to deal with this horrid disease. I am going to ring docs in the morning. They have offered counselling before but turned it down and think I am maybe at a point where I need to give it a try.

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