Had a really stressful week due to other problems not health related for once. Been made to feel I am over reacting and getting stress the day after methotrexate when am struggling to function. Luckily I have a great husband and best friend who I have talked to and they remind me I am within my rights to feel as I do and I aren’t letting it get to me. I generally believe that unless people have something nice to say then they shouldn’t speak. I have been bullied most of my life. In school, in work, pretty much everywhere. Generally the same insults. I am fat, look like a whale, never seen a bottom so big, am disgusting. Well all that is the truth. Does that make it right that people tell me that. You could argue they are just giving their opinion. Does that make it right? In my eyes no. I don’t understand why anyone would give an opinion which would hurt someone when it hasn’t been asked for. I remember many years ago shopping with a friend and I tried a dress on and I asked the age old question…..does my bum look big in this? Her response…..no bigger than it is. OK I was slightly miffed but I asked. In hindsight it was a clever answer ha. I just have and always will have a problem with people who don’t worry about people’s feelings. Thinking your opinion is more important than someone else’s feelings or thinking the truth is more important than someone’s feelings to me is not right. And I aren’t asking anyone to change. I am purely saying I don’t want that around me.
Onto health…..I had a steroid infusion a week before the school holidays started and am so grateful. Only used my crutches a handful of times over the holidays so far. The pains are starting to come back now so I am sure I will be back on them permanently in the next 2 weeks but it’s been great to get some relief. Am now 5 weeks into new treatment and some days are better than others. Yesterday was terrible. Didn’t help that took all my morning tablets and was sick an hour later so unsure how much actually made it into my system. Was very grateful when my husband got in from work last night. Feel so bad for the kids when I have a bad day. Not fair on them at all. Was laying on the bed a lot as felt I was going to collapse if I stood up. So hopefully a better day today and going to the park with my best friend and her kids. The puppy is starting to calm down a little too. We went on Monday and the last time we went she just stressed at other dogs but this time she was good for most of the time. So looking forward to today. Trying to be organised and sort a picnic. School holidays are very expensive ha. We also all went to a media museum last week which was great. A lot of walking so used my crutches but managed with a few rest stops.
Have rejigged a lot of medications as both me and my doctors accepted I wasn’t losing weight with them. 5 weeks in and I am 19lbs down. So incredibly happy. Long way to go though. 109 lbs to be precise. I was a geek and did a chart ha.
I have an appointment on the 30th to speak to a surgeon about gastric bypass. Not sure what to think at the moment. My initial thoughts were yes yes yes but managed to lose weight myself since. But then I am 36 and have always been overweight so maybe it’s time to accept that I need help changing that. So looking forward to the appointment and finding out what they think.
Anyway best get ready for the picnic. Want to go dog lead shopping as well. She keeps cutting the kids legs with it so could do with a thicker one but not sure they exist.
So bye for now